Letting Go



Today my son cried and cried at breakfast. He said through his sobs, “I don’t know why I am crying!” I think he is missing his puppies. No matter what I said though, he denied it but I’ve seen this before. He needs to grieve their leaving and I don’t blame him. I miss them too, but my missing is much less intense. He was their primary playmate and they were his. He, being an only child, really enjoys having little ones who are ready and eager to play with him. And they were there for him, without requiring anything more from him than his company. Of course he misses them. I could try to convince him that having the pups in their new homes is best for everyone, I could remind him of how unavailable I was during their last few weeks with us, I could try to avoid his grief by telling him we’ll get more puppies soon, even promising him their arrival much sooner than I would be ready for them, but I don’t. I want to remove his pain, save him from his grief but I know better. It is far better to feel the sadness and express it. It tells us how much we loved. It tells us how big our hearts are. It makes a bigger space in our hearts for next time. And it is what is happening. No matter what I may want for him to feel, my relief for having more time, my exhaustion that is just now starting to quell, my happiness about their new families, he feels his feelings and it is my job to help him learn to express them and understand them. So I held him as he sobbed. I stroked his hair and just breathed. And when he started laughing at Hermes when he came in and stretched with a big moan right in front of us, I said, “see how it is? Tears come and then they go and we feel better if we let ourselves feel them.” And then it was over.

January 13, 2009 • Tags:  • Posted in: fostering dogs, Hermes, observations

One Response to “Letting Go”

  1. valerie - January 16th, 2009

    This is such a great post. You’re right, feeling it is always better. I love you, sister.

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