Hitting My Stride

Little angelsIt is a busy time, as I predicted. But not in the ways I thought it would be. Unless I am getting really good at this, I think I over-estimated the amount of effort caring for these little guys takes. Now, don’t get me wrong – I am correct regarding the amount of time it takes: two to three loads of laundry and cleaning up one extra big garbage bag full of poppy and pee-filled papers, moping two rooms totally 3 times a day, and laying clean papers at least 4 times a day takes a set amount of time. But like most things in life, it isn’t the time something takes that makes it seem so overwhelming, but the energy we put on it..the story about how difficult it is, the effort we put toward forcing ourselves to do it, or the misery we hold as we do it. But if we just do what is before us, as it is before us, it actually only takes time and is not overwhelming. I like learning this and feel really proud of myself as I see myself doing what is before me without adding stress or anxiety to the mix. Life is so much more doable that way.

I think the thing that has changed for me is that I see my role more clearly. I am not here to insure these puppies or Annie has the best possible future, I am here to do my part to make sure they have the best possible time while they are with me. I am a steward, not a psychic. I will do what I can to help people make good choices regarding the puppies’ care, and I will say “no” to the people I believe are not making a good choice in getting a puppy now, but I can’t “save” them all, or control their lives. Once they leave here they are in someone else’s hands. And I have to have faith that their lives will go the way they will go. I think in the littlers prior to Annie’s I worried a lot about the pups and believed I was the only one who could give them the best life…now I know that is simply not true. They need SO much more than I can give them – more attention, more learning, more play, more cleanliness (!), more affection, more of everything. Their new families will love them as unique little critters in a way I can’t let myself – because they are not mine to have.

December 31, 2008 • Tags: , • Posted in: Annie, fostering dogs, observations, pups

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