Sad to See Annie Go
Sigh. So sad right now.
Annie left today. I was all business but kept trying to keep her new family at my house, I only realized this near the end, in order to prolong my time with her. As they walked to their car Annie was running around outside. I said, “call her” and she did and Annie, hearing my voice, came running up to me as I stood in the doorway. Her new owner called her again, “Annie, come on Annie” and I said, “go on” and Annie turned and ran toward her and jumped right in the car. Just like I knew she would. And the door shut and she was gone. I didn’t cry right away – I waited till my door was shut. And I am crying now. She is SO trusting. I think that’s what really got to me. I said, “go on” and she went.
Everyone says that the puppies leaving is so sad. But the puppies are just that, the puppies. My feelings for them are more diffuse. I will be sad when the lump sum of them is gone. But Annie and I were a team. Big time. She looked to me for help with the puppies and I looked to her. It was clear to both of us that things were way easier with both of us working together. That sort of shared work really bonds you fast. Plus she is just the kind of dog I really like – smart, lots of energy, very responsive, and a rascal. And so trusting once I earned it. And then so loving. I guess in a way I feel like I’ve betrayed her by sending her off with a practical stranger. We were a team and as far as she was concerned she wanted to keep it that way. And I didn’t. So I guess I’m feeling like I abandoned her in a way. I know all the intellectual reasons I let her go were right and true. But in doing this work we are bound to hit on our own “stuff” – our own pains or unfinished business so to speak. And that is what is hitting me now. Plus the fact that a really good team just got broken up.
So, Annie, my wishes for you are a long and happy life with lots of carefree days of running, jumping, and chewing your beloved Kong. I hope you bond hard and fast with your new family. I hope you love and respect the children and continue your gentle ways. I hope you try really hard to learn the rules of the house and behave yourself around your new dog family. I hope you let go and just trust and love the way you started to do here, with me. Walk nicely on your leash and stop trying to be in charge. And please stop wagging your tail to the point where it hurts you and everyone around you!! And let them snuggle with you. Let them stroke your shiny fur and scratch your head and let yourself go with it. You don’t have to work so hard anymore. Your time has come my dear, to receive.
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